For most of Kelly’s life, she’s been a dedicated over-committer, completely addicted to watching people’s faces light up when she said ‘Yes’ to them. As with everything, she had to learn the hard way to say No and actually spent a whole year (2012 to be specific) practising it.
Carly, as you’ll know from previous episodes, hates saying No to any work that is on offer, and she has huge FOMO (fear of missing out) too. She would rather than lie than ever tell someone No!
In this episode Kelly shares all the techniques she learnt in her Year of Saying No, and tries to give Carly and few more tools to do the same.
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This episode comes straight out of one of the many amazing discussions that occur in the Straight and Curly Facebook group.
Laura wants to get up early but when her alarm goes off each morning, says she physically can’t get out of bed. She asked the group for advice and there were so many great ideas shared, we had to turn it into a podcast.
Carly books non-refundable exercise classes.
Kelly thinks Laura needs to change the story she is telling herself when the alarm goes off.
And no less than 15 other group members had tips of their own to share.
If you too would like to get up early but struggle with the snooze button every morning, you’re going to love this episode.
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Kelly never used to think she was a perfectionist – but in researching for her second book Practical Perfection, discovered she was. Carly used to think she was … but has now decided she’s actually just a really high-functioning human!
So, what even is perfectionism and if you’ve got it, how do you manage it?
If you’re someone who holds themselves to high standards and gets frustrated when you’re not able to achieve those standards, then it’s likely you have perfectionist tendencies. There’s a difference between healthy perfectionism and neurotic perfectionism, however. In this episode the girls distinguish between the two as well as sharing their own experiences with both.
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Someone in the Straight and Curly Facebook group wanted to know what paths Carly and Kelly travelled after finishing high school and how they both ended up becoming writers.
As it turns out, their paths were very different and this episode takes listeners (and the girls!) on an interesting trip down memory lane.
Kelly started out working in the sport and recreation industry.
Carly’s first job was as a drama teacher.
How did they both get from those places to where they are today? You’ll have to listen in to find out more
Kelly and Carly are both incredibly decisive people. Mostly because neither can handle the time-wasting aspect of taking ages to come to a decision.
In this episode they share their best tips for taking the agonising out of your decision-making process:
- Spend your decision allowance on things that matter
- Use the information you have to make a decision
- Don’t let base desires lead the way
- Give yourself a time limit
- Don’t negotiate with yourself over stupid things
- Stop trying to extract maximum happiness out of every decision
- Take an outside perspective
- Practice mindfulness
Kelly and Carly admit, they’re a bit scared about this episode. Mainly because it involves them talking about things they think are pretty non-negotiable (vaccination, keeping your maiden name when married, organ donation). And they prefer people to not hate them.
But, they have faith in the Straight and Curly community to take everything they say in the spirit intended. Along the way, they share their best tips for expressing strong views about things, but without being a total dick about it.
- Elizabeth Kolbert – Why facts don’t change our minds
- Clementine Ford – Giving up your name after marriage is a choice that’s worth questioning
Despite their best efforts to show people it’s not the case, some people seem to think Kelly and Carly swan through life without a care in the world. Most likely because neither of them like discussing their problems in the moment – they prefer to talk about the things they’ve fully processed and worked through.
In today’s episode, the first before Straight and Curly takes a break for three weeks, the girls get vulnerable and share about the things that are bothering them right now:
- Carly’s worried about the environment and trying to reduce the amount of waste she produces … but finds it hard not to slip into becoming really vigilante about it all.
- Kelly’s given up her beloved Flying Solo Editor role and discusses why it’s a really sensible thing to do … but still hurts.
- Carly’s very frustrated that having an impeccable diet and working out really hard six days a week for an extended period of time yielded very little change on the scales. She’s worried what this means for her future self.
- Kelly’s kids are currently on school holidays and she’s struggling to find the balance between getting all her work done – and giving them a fun school holiday experience.
- Carly and Kelly are both frustrated by their propensity for taking on too much!
Kelly and Carly have both travelled quite extensively within Australia and overseas. In this episode they discuss:
- Where they’ve been
- Where they’re dying to go
- Where they’re dying to go back to
- Travel hacks
- Money saving tips for travel
- How to manage the need for planning with the need for living in the moment when on holiday/travelling
Kelly asked her blog readers what topics they wanted her to write about. Several of the topics were super-interesting, but weren’t things she could write a full post on. She also wanted to get Carly’s view on a few of them. So Kelly and Carly tackle those questions together in this episode including:
- How do you get people to think for themselves?
- How do you talk about money ‘well’?
- How to deal with the ‘it never rains, but it pours’ woes of being a freelancer.
- How to know when to give up on something you’re ‘crap’ at, and when to keep persisting.
- How to deal with the nightly news (which seems to be all bad news).
- How to deal with imposter syndrome.
Decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making. It is now understood as one of the causes of irrational trade-offs in decision making.
Decision fatigue explains why we’re able to eat well in the morning, but make poor food choices at night. It explains why we’ll put a good amount of thought into an important decision in the morning, but have no dramas making a snap decision about the same thing later in the day. In short, the more decisions we make over the course of a day – the less able we are to make good decisions by the end of that day because every decision we have to make saps our energy in some way.
In this episode, Carly and Kelly discuss ways to reduce the amount of decision fatigue in your life to set you up for making better decisions at any time of the day, not just the morning!