Josie has a conundrum – after spending most of her life striving relentlessly, she’s come to a place where she’s … satisfied. And it’s kind of freaking her out. Josie asked:
- Do you think it’s important to have goals in life and to strive, or is it just as valid to meander along?
- Do you think strivers can often have a negative undercurrent to their need to achieve? Or is this not that common?
- How do you recognise when your goal setting is coming from a negative place?
- And, any tips on how I can find motivation again to try and strive for a new goal that’s truly important to me and not about what other people think?
As dedicated strivers themselves, answering the above questions also provided Kelly and Carly with the opportunity for some self-reflection.
This was a fun episode!
One of their listeners asked Kelly and Carly for recommendations on:
- Foods to try
- Places to visit
- People they find interesting
It provided an interesting opportunity for them to show just how different they are!
Listener Saskia asked:
“What do you do when you’ve achieved your goals? How do you deal with the existential dread of “this is the rest of my life”? How do you set new goals after doing the goals that you’ve strived to reach? What comes after schooling, babies, marriage, house, whatever you’ve pursued. What’s the answer to “now what??””
Whew, big topic! One that resonated quite deeply with those in the Straight and Curly Facebook group. While Kelly regularly experiences existential crises, Carly is far too sensible for those! So this episode is worth a listen for the different ways they come at this tricky subject.
Join the Straight and Curly group on Facebook .
This is a funny episode because neither girls are particularly messy types. That said, Kelly is anally tidy and cannot see the positives of any kind of messiness. So Carly goes in to bat for team ‘Messy’.
While Kelly tried to convert listeners to the idea that ‘outer order contributes to inner calm’, Carly points out the difference between messy and dirty, and shares some research the indicates messy people are more creative.
All in all, it’s an entertaining episode, if only to hear Kelly having a nervous breakdown at something she read in Sarah Wilson’s new book ‘First, we make the beast beautiful’.
Carly is a committed tracker, Kelly hates them because she hates things holding her to account (she feels she should be able to hold herself to account). But there is no denying it, if you have fitness or diet goals, trackers are incredibly useful.
So, what are the pros and cons of fitness tracking?
And what are some of the girls’ favourite tools in that regard?
They share that and more in today’s episode.
Difficult conversations. For the conflict-averse (like Kelly) – they can be terrifying. But they’re also a necessary part of life, and essential for good relationships. Today, Kelly and Carly share their best tips for having effective difficult conversations including:
- Going into the conversation with a clear objective
- Avoiding the use of blaming language
- Mastering your emotions (remaining rational/not taking things personally)
- Sticking to the issue at hand
Comparisons are the thief of joy, we all know this. Yet, we don’t seem to be able to stop measuring ourselves and our achievements up against those of others.
- Can comparisons ever lead to something good?
- Can we cure ourselves of comparisonitis?
- Should we aim to crush the competition? Or collaborate with them?
In this week’s show Kelly and Carly share their own experiences with comparisonitis, and how they manage it in their own lives.
The irony of this episode is Carly and Kelly are generally credited with being highly focused and disciplined people. The reality is – they’re both easily bored, easily distracted and ridiculously twitchy. Which doesn’t lend itself to being particularly productive. Yet, they both manage to Get Stuff Done in a very efficient and effective manner.
What are their secrets for maintaining focus given neither of them are highly focused people? They share that and more in this episode.
Jason Connell wrote a blog post entitled ‘Why I’ve lost faith in Tony Robbins (and most life coaches)’. The interesting thing about this was, Jason Connell is a life-coach-ish guy himself. Kelly and Carly didn’t agree with everything Jason said in his article, but it did raise some interesting questions:
- Who should you listen to when it comes to self-help?
- For those who are operating in the self-help arena (as Kelly and Carly both are) – where is the line between being truly helpful, and completely over-stepping the bounds of your expertise?
This episode is a bit looser than most as the girls workshop the above between themselves.
- Why I’ve lost faith in Tony Robbins (and most life coaches)
- The discussion of this article on Kelly’s Facebook page.
Kelly’s friends specially requested this show; it pays homage to fact that she cannot sleep without the noise of a fan whirring in the background, and whoever rooms with Kelly when she goes away with her friends has to also room with her fan. Lucky them!
Which brings us to the subject of sleep. What are Kelly and Carly’s best tips for getting to sleep in a timely fashion, and staying asleep? Here’s what they cover:
- Set up your environment optimally: bedroom should be dark, quiet, cool
- Exercise every day
- Develop a good pre-sleep routine
- Understand how you process caffeine and adjust the timing of your last cup accordingly
- White noise generators/fans
- Try Sleep With Me app or the nightlife quiz. Even Coffivity might work.
- Get some blue light glasses.
- Avoid alcohol wherever possible.
- Drop your core temperature.
- Try a body scan or sleep meditation if you’re overthinking it.